Bummed Out - time to hit the keyboard!

As a freelance filmmaker, I'm always looking for next gig even if I'm on a gig. I haven't made the name or connections to get steady offers of jobs, yet. After 3 years since my film school, I feel like my break is just around the corner. However, it's still elusive and so fleeting. As they say, your first million is the hardest. Sigh.

I met with a line producer, and a director who graduated Full Sail in 98 for an assistant editor job. Wow. I don't know anyone who graduated my school made it to above-the-line, but he told me there are few. No big names, but they are definitely there. The director was an European, with European money--thank god those tax breaks are still in effect, to shoot his first feature in Philly. I connected really well because I knew Philly as my parents place is in Mt. Laurel, Cherry Hill. What do you know, their production office is at Mt. Laurel. With a Venti cup of Caramel Macchiato before the interview, I projected positive vibe and bonded with the line producer and the director well enough to talk more after the interview was over.

They were shooting it in 35 mm (Yes!) and they got this top European editor (Yes!) to edit the film in NY. After they are done, they will move the post to LA (Yes!) for a couple of months. After they wrap the first, they may go for 2nd and 3rd (Yes!) depending on how well the 1st one is made. This gig sounded like a dream come true at my stage of career. And I felt I nailed the interview. Line Producer liked me. The director, although he was a bit introverted person, he chatted with me.

And that was two weeks ago. They are busy scouting locations and doing last minute pre-pro stuff that keep people awake around the clock while I was waiting for my ticket. However, the fate had a different plan. They got someone two days ago. (I'm sure you knew this coming from the title. I shouldn't give out the ending too early, damn.) Line Producer was too busy that he hasn't been in the office since he met me last time, but I guess the director wasn't too impressed with my credits, or found someone better. Rejections are now permanent part of my life, but this one was too close to the heart. Although the line producer consoled me that I was his first pick and he would recommend me if anything changes, but I'm not holding my breath. I was bummed out. Thank god I didn't take the plunge and bought the upgrade for Avid Express Pro HD. (I'm holding out for Mac version.)

I usually lose myself in writing, in my stories, when I'm feeling down. I found that allows me to come to terms with my inner feeling better. Now you know why I don't write many cheery stories, despite my happy-go-lucky attitude. Watching back-to-back Entourage Season 2 kinda picked me up but this weekend, I'll be banging out pages after pages to get over this sorry-ass depression.

Second to the Right is coming along nicely even though the pace slowed to 5 pages per day. This time, I'm not going to send out my first draft to people for proofread or feedbacks. I'm going to take time to rewrite and rewrite. Your first draft always sucks, hard. Although people generally liked my first draft because of my ideas and whatnot, they should get the whole meat, not half-baked sizzles, even when they are proofreading.

Would it be too much to ask for deux ex machina in my life? Even though I'm well aware that it's a horrible plot device? Man can't live on hope alone, but, tomorrow, the sun will rise as usual. And I will be battling with my destiny once more.

Good night, and good luck.